I finally admitted to a couple of friends that I was depressed, they were nice enough to spend some time with me, which helped an embarrassing amount. I don’t feel so much like I’m in the darkest pit of despair – at one point I remember thinking “I don’t want to go to sleep because then I have to wake up” which is pretty dark. But I still don’t feel good, really. \\

I did, however, feel good enough to remember that doing stuff helps, and I remembered that I was definitely happier the week I spent away from social media, so I resolved to try & focus on accomplishing at least one task on my work to-do list per day AND spending less time on social media in general – no Facebook, limited reddit, some instagram (my IG feed is just dogs & horses so I consider that beneficial to my mental health) and finally getting to some of the other tasks on Project Kassandra. So to that end I made a decision on a language – Czech – and I started it today. I decided to tentatively plan a trip to Australia for my 45th birthday next year, which means I will have more time to learn Swedish if I decide I want to do that. Chances are good I will end up in the Czech Republic before I go to Sweden.

When this week ends I plan to recommit to some things I got away from that I think will help me too – bed at a certain time, waking up at a certain time, more structured workouts, etc. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself this weekend to keep busy, I think the weekends are the hardest because during my workday I have at least SOME interaction, but on the weekend it’s like………….