Last Thursday, as happens almost every day, because my commute is a 3 second walk to the living room, I slept in later than I intended. I went to take the animals out, and there was a dude walking around my building….and walking around….and walking around….I kind of shrugged it off as he gave no indications of being a threat – he said good morning to me, was dressed normally, did not seem altered or high. I’ve seen tons of people doing laps around my apt complex and honestly I thought maybe he was just trying to stay off the roads because my city is one with a lot of protests and a lot of bad cops (he was black, this is a factor in the story later.)

He pointed out I had left my front door open and I, like a dumbass, replied “It’s fine, it’s for the cat.”

What can I say? He was actually pretty cute.

Well, I go back inside to feed the animals and as we go in he stops to pet Jester. He asks me what breed he is, and mentions he has a husky. We talk about keeping fluffy dogs cool in the summer and he tells me he fills a kiddie pool with ice for his dog. Totally pleasant interaction.

While I’m inside feeding the animals, I look up and I see….what looks as if he was standing at the corner of the building trying to look in my window and then running away. Huh. Anyway at this point I’m late for my meeting so I get to my desk and as the dude walks by again what do I see but his FLOPPY DICK DANGLING OUT PAST MY WINDOW. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.

Cue the next HOUR. I SHIT YOU NOT. Of this dude walking around my building, trying to look in my windows, with his dick alternately out and in. I was really hoping he would go away, but when it became obvious he wasn’t going to, I figured I had to do something.

So my first thought was, I have to get this on camera. I’m not going down as a racist Karen who called the cops just because a black guy was walking in my neighborhood. That proved to be a lot harder than I anticipated – obviously I did not want to press my phone up against the window or open my blinds even further. Finally I managed to get some incriminating evidence….but I was still really hesitant to call the cops. I obviously don’t want the guy here doing this, but I also don’t want him to get shot for it, and the police in my city are…well. Let’s just say their track record is not stellar. I considered confronting him myself, but that seemed stupid.

Finally my BFF convinced me to call the cops because I live across the street from an elementary school. School may not be in session but I know they do summer camp activities there and I’m not entirely sure if it’s happening during the pandemic or not. They asked if I wanted the responding officer to come & talk to me & I said no. After that I realized the rental office was open so I called them. I talked to the only dude who works there (lucky he answered the phone) who is big and kind of intimidating, and he said they would send someone over.

At the end of the day I’m not sure if it was the cops, the rental office dude, or what, but he eventually disappeared.

Later on I was telling my brother about the incident and he told me not to go outside at night. Which of course I told him that I am absolutely going for a walk that evening around my neighborhood. Needless to say he was really, really against it, and I understand why, but man….I spent 10 years learning how to fight and defend myself. I aspire to be an Amazon, a Warrior, a Kassandra – what kind of person am I, if I let some dude’s floppy dick make me hide? All of the women I’ve met who have told me with quiet admiration “You’re such a badass” – I’m not going to live a lie. If I stay in because of fear, well, I might as well just give the black belt back.

This is my city. I am not going to hide.

I am, however, not going out unarmed. I don’t believe in guns, but I did bring a personal taser, a knife, and a short bamboo staff I made. My walk was completed without incident, and I’ve gone out a couple more times since then, also without incident. I also bought a chain for my door so I don’t have to leave it wide open, and a security camera for my balcony.

It did make me think, though, that it’s definitely time to get back into fighting shape. I’ve certainly been working out, but not the way I was – partially due to quarantine, partially due to laziness, partially due to….whatever. I know I’ve lost some muscle mass, an unfortunate side-effect of gyms being closed, but now mine is open so it’s time to get back to lifting and martial arts.