I’m way behind in updating things, yikes!

So I failed 75 Hard on like day 63, and I couldn’t bring myself to care. Saturday I was supposed to get up early and get in a workout before my plans but was too tired – didn’t think anything of it. Was dragging ass a little, but that often happens to me on Saturdays. However, when I got home around 3, I just crashed hardcore on the couch. And I could barely get up to feed the animals. Nurse BFF said it was likely allergies so I took an allergy pill & felt better….but I still just didn’t have the energy to work out. Next day, I felt better but still crashed after a riding in the morning. It’s not like me to be so exhausted. Then I started having stomach issues and I thoroughly stressed myself into thinking I had contracted COVID-19. Sooo two days of no workouts made me face facts that I failed and honestly, all I felt was fucking relief. I was so done with that challenge, I had long since gone past the point where it was helping me, so…yeah.

Oh, I totally didn’t have COVID. Got a rapid test the next day – negative. Quarantined until my nasal swab came back, also negative. Also, I don’t know math anymore because they scraped it out of my brain.

So let’s talk about 75Hard and the good takeaways from it: One, I learned that I was capable of much more than I thought. I was definitely holding myself back in my workouts, now the idea of just doing 30 minutes a day is laughable. It also taught me to push harder, the amount of yoga workouts I didn’t want to do but pushed through due to sheer stubbornness is astounding.

Two: I waste an embarrassing amount of time doing stupid shit. I have always thought that if I could master time management and stick to a routine, my life would be amazing, and man did this challenge emphasize that. So many days I procrastinated on a workout that I could have knocked out early, but made my life so much more difficult by dicking around doing other shit.

Three: Mentally, I have a long way to go towards healthy thoughts. Nothing I do is ever good enough for me and that’s really shitty. Here’s an example: I really felt like I was not doing the challenge well enough, or the right way, or whatever – that I was failing at it. Also, that Saturday, my roommate offered to go get us food, to which I declined – then shoulder my backpack, walked 1.3 miles to the grocery store, bought food, walked 1.3 miles back, and cooked it. So like what exactly do I need to do, to feel like I’m crushing it? Also, I definitely wanted to start over about halfway through – “But this time I’ll do it perfectly! I’ll get a routine! I’ll do a workout first thing in the morning! I’ll get up at 5am!” That kind of black-and-white, perfectionist thinking is how I ended up with an eating disorder, so I’m super glad I didn’t give in to those urges.

Four: You can have it all! You just have to work at it. 75 Hard has a lot of little pieces to it (drink water, read) that really do lead to mental improvement. You just have to break things down into smaller chunks.

Five: I actually really like drinking a gallon of water a day! I’m so hydrated!

So yeah, I don’t know if I’ll ever tackle this specific challenge again, but for now I think I’m going to revive Project Kassandra and make that my “Last 9 weeks of the year” deal.