I feel all out of sorts today, like anxious and weird and depressed. I went to the pool at lunch hoping some sun and water would help me snap out of it, and it helped a little, but I still feel kind of blah.

My instructor said Griffy was lame during our lesson over the weekend, this time in his left hind foot. It explains why he was shifting away from the mounting block, I think. But then everyone else is like “he’s fine” and she’s still saying “he’s off” and I really don’t see it but if he’s truly lame AGAIN….it really makes me think maybe he’s just not sound and I won’t be able to buy him. We had a long chat after my lesson and she surprised me by saying “If I had to pick a horse for you, it would not be that one.” She says he’s too short, but I really don’t want to ride anything bigger. Ugh. I feel so disheartened like maybe right now I don’t want to ride at all. Maybe I’m trying too hard to make this work.