I keep wanting to write “Not weighing in is surprisingly difficult!” But it’s honestly not surprising. It’s also driving me crazy, every day I’m so close to doing it, I need to know if I’m fucking up! But if it doesn’t show progress, what then?!

Anyway. My mood is still blah. My workout this morning was uninspired, and I had to skip one whole section because there was a guy using the machine I needed for-ev-ar. I keep bouncing around, I want to change programs, change diets, have weight loss surgery….blah.

I am wondering, though, if maybe the problem is I’m training too hard and not eating enough. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I remember when I was in the thick of Kung Fu, I was training 2-3 hours a day, 6 days a week. My weight was bouncing between 250-260 but would not go down. One week, before an especially stressful belt test, I binged every night…and at the end of that week, weighed 238. I should have, but didn’t, realize that I wasn’t eating enough to support the exercise I was doing. Back in 2020 when I got down to 236, I was eating a massive steak – I’m talking 1+ lbs – every night for dinner. I was describing my frustration to my little bro last night and I realized when I said “I keep bouncing around the 260’s!” it’s like the same situation…and a few weeks ago he pointed out that Centr Power is a muscle gain, not a weight loss, program. IDK. It’s not like I dropped a bunch of weight when I was doing the Magnus program, and it’s not like I dropped a bunch of weight when I was just swimming all through December, but my diet was kind of a mess then. I feel like there’s a magic combination I’m missing here, that I can’t quite get a hold of.