I…am…so…tired.

Why? I don’t know really – I mean yeah, it’s my 2nd day without Vyvanse, but I’ve taken whole weeks off before and been functional so I’m not sure why I’m so beat now (that’s a lie, I do have an idea – work + restarting Centr Power which are all really intense workouts + lots of pony care this week + mental stress – I want to sleep.) But it’s also kind of eye-opening, I beat myself up for being tired & sleeping on the weekends but it’s no wonder! Last night before I went to the barn I took a nap from 5-5:45 and it was like the sleep of the dead – I slept so deeply when I woke up I was like “Where am I?” for a second (in my living room!)

This morning I almost didn’t make it to the gym, I literally crawled out of bad at 5:30 and had to force myself to rush. I ended up with just enough time to get everything done and make my 7:30am meeting, but woo. It was tough. I wonder if it’s going to get easier (I would like to think yes) or if I’m just going to crumble (I think probably likely.)

Another note, I am STARVING, and debating ordering door dash for lunch although I have healthy food here but I just feel like I’m running on empty. Another thing I get mad at myself for on the weekends but am now realizing it makes sense – without Vyvanse suppressing my appetite and the amount of physical activity I do, my body is like “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FEED ME.” I am not sure if I’m going to order (trying to avoid the treats) but I’m definitely going to fill up.

I feel like I had more to say but can’t think of what so yeah, I’m gonna go eat and maybe take a nap. No pool today because it’s supposed to rain, I wish it would hurry up and do so!